


The Choice He Made

by LindseyintheSkywithDiamonds



Series: Chosen [2]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ben isn't sorry, Enemies to Friends, F/M, Luke is SO over it, Rey is pissed, To lovers?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-25
Updated: 2017-03-25
Packaged: 2018-10-09 23:24:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,341
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10424133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LindseyintheSkywithDiamonds/pseuds/LindseyintheSkywithDiamonds
Summary: If he was a monster, then she was an animal. An aggravating, juvenile, unsophisticated animal.Sequel to my one-shot The Choices We Make





	

    The lively sound of music mixed with hundreds of exuberant voices filled the air, drifting all the way down to the beach outside of the military base. Earlier that day the entire base had erupted in a spontaneous celebration, that was sure to last all night, when the news they all had been waiting for was released: the war is over. After years of fighting and countless lives lost, the New Republic, with the help of the ragtag, yet ever courageous Resistance, had finally succeeded in crushing the First Order.

    Though, this final victory may have never happened had it not been for the Force taking a hold of Ben Solo the night Starkiller Base was destroyed. On that night he was pulled into a series of visions, some memories of his past, others brief glimpses of a future he had never considered possible. It was these few sweet, and far too short, moments that gave Ben the push he needed to finally turn on his loathsome master, killing the old man, thus cutting off the head of the snake that was the First Order. After years of cruelly breaking down Ben Solo's spirit and using the pieces to build himself the perfect tool in Kylo Ren, Supreme Leader Snoke stabbed through the heart by the very one he trusted to protect him.

    Unfortunately, this fateful confrontation did not happen immediately after Ben Solo emerged from the bacta tank fully healed, all evidence of his light saber duel with the girl Rey erased. Upon waking, Ben had been summoned to his masters side to complete his training in the dark side of the Force. For years the Supreme Leader had promised that by killing father, mother, and uncle Kylo Ren would sever the last ties linking him to Ben Solo, allowing him to reach his full potential.

    Kylo Ren had expected to be ensconced in dark energy after the murder of Han Solo, high on the power of the Dark Side--certainly this would be enough to make him forget the heinous act.

    But the rapture he had envisioned never came. Instead, he felt a anguish unlike anything he had ever felt before. Regret ripped him apart from the inside out, sorrow filled his chest with fire.

    This is probably what he felt like when he died, he mused as his fingers rubbed against his aching chest. Unable to bear the thought, he shoved it and his grief away, hid it in the furthest recesses of his mind. The Supreme Leader could never know that he still harbored these illicit emotions.

    Instead he chose to focus on the dream he had had while submerged in the bacta tank. The fantasy his traitorous mind had created to torture him visions of what could have been.

 _It was just a dream_ , he told himself, over and over again. _It was **not** a vision._

    How could he have believed something so perfect could be for him? Luke Skywalker would never welcome him back with open arms, Leia Organa would never forgive the actions of Kylo Ren, and the scavenger Rey would never love him.

    Kylo Ren was a monster and a tool. He did not deserve a happy ending.

    So along with the memory of Han Solo, he hid away the dream in a place no one would ever look.

    Maybe if he ignored his hopes and regrets, locked them up so tightly they could never break free, he would finally become the Dark tool the Supreme Leader declared him to be.

    And so he went. The war raged on without him, many assuming he had perished along with Starkiller Base.

    As if he could be so lucky.

    On a far away planet, Kylo Ren labored under the tutelage of his master. The Supreme Leader pushed him harder than he ever had in the past, determined to finish crafting his tool.

    Weeks flew by with Kylo doing little more than training, each day harder than the last. Despite his efforts, he could not manage to harness the Dark Side the way his master demanded of him. In an ironic twist of fate, he had been subconsciously drawing from Luke Skywalker's teachings to hide his regret over Han Solo's death and his longing for a future that he would never have.

    Unknowingly using the Light Side of the Force was hindering his ability to use the Dark Side.

    It wasn't long before the Supreme Leader became frustrated with the lack of progress. Training became torture. With enough pain, Snoke would surely be able to plunge his pupil into darkness.

    Plus, he just liked doing it. Having Darth Vader's heir whimpering at his feet brought the old Darksider a kind of pleasure he had not felt since he had seduced Luke Skywalker's apprentice away from him.

    It was during one of these sessions when Kylo Ren finally cracked.

    He laid in a crumpled heap on the floor before his master, legs having given out long before. Dried blood and sweat covered his face, but he could barely feel it. He had gone numb to the excruciating pain of his master lazily tearing through his mind, like claws scraping against the inside of his skull.

    Kylo knew Snoke wasn't even searching for information; he was just inflicting pain.

    It was pure happenstance that the Supreme Leader stumbled upon that dark, hidden corner. Before Kylo could react, the door had been thrown open and all of his secrets spilled out.

    "Compassion... for the scavenger," Snoke hissed, "I had expected more from you, Kylo Ren."

    The statement was a shock to his system, yanking Kylo into the present. He had heard these words before. He pulled himself to his feet as the old Darksider went on, the words falling from his mouth as if he was reciting lines from a script that Kylo had already read.

    "Weak and foolish, like your common father."

_No..._

    "This I will not allow. You are not a man to have compassion; you are a tool. Through you order will be restored to the galaxy."

_This can't be happening. That was a dream!_

    "You will not fail, as Darth Vader and Luke Skywalker have before you. Such power... wasted."

_It was just a dream..._

    "Bring her to me."

    With Snoke's final statement came the memories of the vision Kylo had tried so desperately to suppress.

_His mother softly singing him a lullaby._

_The sound of ocean waves in the distance._

_Luke Skywalker firmly stating, "You always get a choice, Ben. You write your own destiny."_

_The weight of a baby in his arms._

_Warm sunlight and the smell of shampoo and sex._

_Rey extending a hand to him. Rey giggling beneath him. Rey asleep in a hospital bed after giving birth to his child.  
_

_**"I love you."**_

    And like that, Kylo Ren's allegiance shifted.

    Years of degradation and manipulation, of being told he was tool, that he didn't have a choice in how his destiny unfolded, reversed in a moment. He could no longer blindly follow Snoke, accepting his word as law and doing his dirty work without question. Not with the Force screaming in his face that, yes, he does have a choice. This is not his fate. His place is not crushed beneath this monster in the dark.

    His place is in a house by an ocean with her.

    He made his choice. With a vigor he hasn't felt in ages and a fearlessness he didn't know he possessed, Kylo Ren sneered at the Supreme Leader.

    "I will not," he stated, the violent red glow of his lightsaber illuminating the dark room.

 

* * *

   

    On the beach outside of the military base, Ben Solo sat in the sand, close enough to the water for the tide to wash over his bare toes. Judging by the overly loud sounds coming from the base, the victory celebration raged on without him. Which was perfectly fine to him. He was content to sit by himself in the sand, drinking a pilfered bottle of ale, and actually relax for the first time in years.

    It was over.

   The war was over. The Supreme Leader was dead. The First Order was defeated. Soon Kylo Ren would be nothing more than a bad memory.

   He was free. 

   Ben wasn't sure if he would ever be able to fully accept his freedom as fact, if he could leave his chains in the past were the belong, but he knew he would die trying. 

   It wasn't long before he heard someone shuffle up behind him and fall to the ground beside him.

    "I don't know if anyone mentioned it to you, but there's kind of a big party going on at the base," Rey joked. 

    "You know, now that you mention it I may have heard something," Ben acknowledged with a grin.

    He turned his head to watch the smiling girl next to him: her face was red and sweaty from dancing, a few strands of hair sticking to the sides of her forehead, and she was struggling to pull off her shoes. Finally succeeding in her task, her shoes joined his discarded boots and she stretched out legs until her  toes were next to his in the water.    

    In the time since Ben showed up unexpectedly on Ahch-To after killing the Supreme Leader, getting Rey to accept his change of heart had been one of his greatest challenges.

    At first, she was violently angry that Luke chose to let Ben join them on the island. She argued with the old man for hours, calling Ben an assortment of foul names in multiple tongues. She yelled at Luke and called him a blind old man. She insisted that Ben was there to kill them, "This is a trick! Can't you see that? He's a monster!" Once she even threatened to leave. Through it all Luke endured her outrage with the stoic patience of a true Jedi. 

    The logical part of Ben's brain knew that her skepticism and anger were justified. He **_did_**  know that. But the Darkness within him refused to passively accept her histrionics. For weeks they viciously fought each other, neither ever passing up a chance to exchange blows, verbally or physically. 

    If he was a monster, then she was an animal.

    An aggravating, juvenile, unsophisticated animal.

    Ben started to question if he even _wanted_ the rest of his vision to come true. The Force was obviously punishing him for his past mistakes by tying him to this bloodthirsty sandrat for the rest of his life. 

    It wasn't until Luke intervened that their feud came to an end. He sat them down together and told them that they could not go on this way if they truly wanted to connect with the Light. If they could not leave their anger and hatred behind, then they might as well leave because there would be nothing else he could teach them.

    To add insult to injury, he confiscated both of their sabers. 

    Chastised, yet unwilling to give up, they called a truce. They still didn't like each other and they were far from friends, but they learned to work together without trying to gut each other.

    Eventually they began training together, as there was only so much the aging Jedi could do physically. This new arrangement worked out best for everyone because both Ben and Rey favored a very aggressive sparring style, vastly different from that of Luke. 

    Weeks flew by like this. Rey continued to grow stronger and Ben slowly made his way back towards the Light. Without either of them realizing, their tentative truce became a friendship.

 

* * *

 

   

    "Okay, Solo, now that the war is over, what are you going to do?" Rey asked, reaching over across his lap to steal his bottle of lukewarm ale. He grinned at the way she grimaced after taking a sip. 

    He knew the answer immediately, but he let the question stew for a moment while the tide crashed around their feet.

    He thought of his little bungalow outside of the military base came to mind; it was the same house that he saw in that vision years ago. He could still remember the shock he felt the first time he walked in, how he stuttered and made a fool of himself when his uncle grinned and asked if he liked the place. 

    The first few days on base had been rough. He was plagued by the memory of her silhouette in his doorway, her naked body beneath him in his bed. Trying to ignore these kinds of thoughts had only succeeding in making him conjure up new scenarios in his mind. 

    Needless to say, the house became the backdrop for some very suggestive fantasies that sometimes made it difficult to look Rey in the eye.

    But the little bungalow had become his home. More so than anywhere else he had ever lived. He loved falling asleep to the sound of the ocean and waking up to train with Rey and his uncle. He didn't want to leave anytime soon.

    "I think I'm going to stick around here and train with you and Luke for a while," he responded, "Who would save you from Luke's rants about the intricacies of moisture farming if I left?" 

    She laughed and nudged him in the ribs with an elbow, "Hey, I found that rant very informative!" 

    He out a skeptical huff and wrapped a long arm around her shoulders, pulling her to his side. 

    "Whatever you say, sweetheart." 

    Every choice we make affects our future. Before going to Ahch-To, Ben made the decision that he would never tell Rey what he had seen. For most of his life he had been striped of his right to make his own choices and he refused to do the same to her by forcing a future on her that he saw in a vision. 

    Ben didn't know if any of the visions he had of their future would become reality. But if it did, it would be because they chose it. 

 


End file.
